created to love Him...

For Christmas my sister-in-law gave me the Passion Translation of the Psalms. I've been devouring them...slowly. It's May 1st. Today I'm on Psalm 5. Much has changed in my life over the past few years. I'm still worship leader and children's director at Redeemer. God has given me the sweetest man and our beautiful adopted 6 year old daughter the sweetest Dad. We have our 1 year old daughter who is funny, feisty, sweet and sassy...the perfect combo of her mom and dad. I'm in the thick of Mom/Wife life...a place I honestly never thought I'd get to be. I'm thankful. I'm exhausted. I smile more now than I feel I ever have. Yet, I feel overwhelmed with all that's on my shoulders to handle well. I am not one who appreciates having to ask for help. My husband is a pilot and so our life is very different. He's gone 4-5 days a week. It leaves much to juggle when he's away and makes our time together so much sweeter when he's home. I'm ...

Below is an excerpt from Henri Nouwen's book, "The Inner Voice of Love": Do you really want to be converted? Are you willing to be transformed? Or do you keep clutching  your old ways of life with one hand while with the other you beg people to help you change? Conversion is certainly not something you can bring about yourself. It is not a question of will-power. You have to trust the inner voice that shows the way. You KNOW that inner voice. You turn to it often. But after you have heard with clarity what you are asked to do, you start raising questions, fabricating objections, and seeking everyone else's opinion. Thus you become entangled  in countless often contradictory thoughts, feelings, and ideas and lose touch with the God in you. And you end up dependent on all the people you have gathered around you.  Only by constantly attending to the inner voice can you be converted to a new life of freedom and joy.  The baby is napping & I have hopefully in ...

"The Lord is my light & my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"                      Psalm 27:1 Psalm 27 is one of my favorite passages of Scripture. I read it several times a week because it's chocked full of promises and right perspective. Lately, God has been speaking to me about fears that I have about certain things and raising the question, "Why?" I can't get away from this verse. It stifles my reasoning for why fear would be justly caused. It's one of those verses that stops me in the middle of a fearful thought and causes me to wake from my hamster-wheel stupor of habitual partnership with the enemy's camp. It reminds me that I'm not satan's play toy.  The Lord is my light & my salvation. If I were to remove the word "Lord" there and fill in the blank with any other name, then there would be just cause to fear. But it's Yahweh's name that is p...

I am on the biggest faith journey of my life in this current season. The stakes are high because I believe that this season is God's merciful way of allowing me to re-take the faith test so that I can succeed. I believe God does this. I believe that when we don't handle situations or seasons, promises or processes very well, God never fails us. He simply recreates a new season to teach us the lesson we haven't yet grasped. I'm in a re-take season involving completely different circumstances than the test I was in before. This season is more in my face daily and I have far less people to depend on. It's between me & the Lord...no one else can strengthen me. No one else can intervene on my behalf. No one else can bring the right words of comfort. The Father alone is my source. So...how am I doing this time around with being a woman of faith??? In the middle of March of this year, I took in a 3 month old baby girl through our local foster care system. This is s...

Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time reading and thinking about Abraham and Isaac…partially because this is currently my focus in my worship class for RMS and partially because I feel like Abraham’s story rarely leaves the surface of my thoughts. He teaches me so much about what a lifestyle of worship looks like. I thought I’d share some of my musings with you.  If I could sum up Abraham’s relationship with God I think it would look like this: GOD SPEAKS = I DO.   In Genesis 12, God appears on the scene of Abram’s life and says to him, “GO from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.” Immediately we learn from this that Abram’s life in God was built on trust. God didn’t tell him exactly where to travel to, which means that this journey involving leaving everything known behind would be spent listening to the voice of the Lord for direction with the intent to obey what He speaks. Right from this beginning we see Abram’s...

All fear is but the notion that God's love ends. Did you think that I end, that My bread warehouses are limited, that I will not be enough? But I am infinite, child. What can end in Me? Can life end in Me? Can happiness? Or peace? Or anything you need? Doesn't your Father always give you what you need? I am the Bread of Life and My bread for you will never end. Fear thinks God is finite and fear believes that there is not going to be enough. In Me, blessings never end because My love for you never ends. If My goodness towards you end, I will cease to exist, child. As long as there is a God in heaven there is grace on earth and I am the spilling God of the uncontainable, forever-overflowing-love-grace. ~God I love that AND the very warm chocolate-chip cookies I just pulled out of my oven. 

NASB:             "In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." ESV:                "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." MESSAGE :    "Thank God no matter what happens. This the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live."  KJV:                 "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." Holy Spirit, I need your help! Thank You that You are the Helper.  If it is God's will for us to give thanks in every circumstance, that means that there are things to be found in every circumstance to be thankful about. This is a partner verse with "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4) If it is God's will for us to rejoice (re-joice = to joy again) in every circumstance, it means that joy can...

I am a Twitter snoop. I don't have my own account. I mooch off of other people's accounts to get into the thoughts and business of people I know & don't know, but greatly respect. There. I've made my confession public. Tonight I ran across a Tweet from Brian Johnson from Bethel Redding asking worship leaders to post their set worship list from this morning's service. Upon reading people's responses, almost everyone had similar to identical worship lists. Most of the songs were from Bethel Music or Tim Hughes, who might as well be a part of Bethel Music! :) I enjoy both of these by the way, and also lead much of their music at Redeemer. But, what I was seeing is that across the country or maybe across the world. the same songs were being offered all over the place. I'm thinking this could be one of two things: either unity across the church or a deficit in creativity in the church. I don't know how it goes for other leaders or musicians, but I fin...

I know the title of my blog is "The musings of a worship leader," but today I'm really thankful for the other part of ministry that God has given me and that is my kids at Redeemer. Today 3 of my kids (and 1 of Redeemer's youth) were baptized during our church service. A few weeks agos, one of my girls stood in front of the church and shared a prophetic vision that God had given her for our church. This morning as we worshiped, the front of the sanctuary was filled with kids dancing, singing and laughing. I'm so excited about what God is doing in them! We've had a tradition at Redeemer since I was a child where we call the kids up to the steps every Sunday morning and pray for them before they go on to their classes. This is always one of my favorite moments on Sundays. This morning as they came running up, my heart felt overwhelmed with how wonderful they all are and the greatness that God has in store for them. Our assistant pastor, Josh, has said many tim...

This building is a great place to play hide and seek! It's missing because the people of Linden Avenue Baptist Church in Dayton, Ohio have stolen it! The thieves! :) I'm back home sweet home and thinking a lot about the people I've met this week. God is the Rescuer and I just spent 4 glorious days with people who have been rescued from much for Much. I met former alcohol and drug addicts. I met former prostitutes. I met people who are wholeheartedly seeking after God's plan for their lives who yet struggle with addiction...people still crying out for freedom from their old life. I met servants, humility, hospitality, teachability, generosity, vulnerability, gentleness...real people in touch with their weaknesses and need for a Rescuer. I was in good company. I need a Rescuer, too. I don't ever want to forget what God has saved me from. I never want to become desensitized to my moment of salvation. We all have sinned...we all have fallen short of God's in...