Remember

During Redeemer's service this past Sunday morning, Pastor John spoke on the power and importance of remembering what God has done. Remembering keeps me centered in who God is and His faithfulness to me, especially in times of uncertainty or hardship. Remembering is heading back to my story with God, my testimony, my experience with Him. Theology can be discussed, argued over, debated. But it's my experience with God that can never be taken away. It's my proof that propels my faith. 

As he spoke, John showed this picture of an incredibly significant event that took place at Redeemer in April of 2011 where Heidi Baker was beginning to speak at Darren Wilson's Furious Love Conference. We miraculously managed to squeeze 700-800 people into our building to hear an incredible panel of speakers and revivalists.  

And here is what I remember...

As Heidi started to speak that morning, I had walked off the stage after leading worship and I noticed she didn't have a music stand to use.  I walked back on stage to grab one for her. By the time I had set it down and started to walk back off stage, the entire floor area in front of the stage had been flooded with people. I was kind of trapped! I found a small spot on the top of the steps of our stage and sat down, looking up at her. That morning she was speaking on inheritance. She said that normally one has to wait for a relative/friend to die in order to receive an inheritance. In God's Kingdom, it's done the same way and Jesus has already died...so, everything that God has is already ours. She asked us to pray and ask God what our inheritance looks like. Here's me!

At the time, I was single, with hopes of getting married and no children yet. As I prayed, I saw a picture of a giant building...for those reading from Monroe, Michigan, it was similar to St. Mary's Academy. And children were pouring out of the windows. I felt that this picture was taking place here in America, not something abroad internationally.  As Heidi was speaking and praying over the room, she was pacing back and forth across the stage. As she came near where I was sitting at this point, she placed her hand on my head and yelled out, "ORPHANAGES! ORPHANAGES! ORPHANAGES!" However, I heard TWO voices saying this same word at the same time...I truly believe I heard the audible voice of God in this moment. 

Heidi walked back across the stage and the picture I was seeing shifted to a very large house and again, there were children pouring out of the windows. She came back across the stage, placed her hand on my head and again yelled (I heard two voices again), "ORPHANAGES, ORPHANGES, ORPHANGES!!" As Heidi paced away, I began to argue with God because I didn't understand...the U.S. doesn't have orphanages or children's homes. We have adoption or the foster care system. How could my inheritance be orphanages here in the states? 

The picture shifted and I saw a silhouette of a little girl with pigtails who looked to be about two-three years old. Heidi walked back a third time, placed her hand on my head and said (I heard two voices), "It only starts with one." 

I was dumbfounded. For years I have had a heart for adoption. But I always thought I had to wait until I was married. I honestly thought that if I moved forward as a single woman and adopted a child or became a foster parent that I wouldn't have a complete home to offer. It was something I dreamed of doing with my future husband someday. But this moment held an urgency to it. Yet, I argued with God... "God, how could I offer a child a home without a father?"  I wrestled with this all that day into the next evening. Any child that would come into my home would be fatherless...it consumed me. 

The last night of this Furious Love Event was one that changed us, changed our church. It was the night that Philip Mantofa from the Philippines spoke to us. He came to challenge America to repent and return to the love of God's word. He challenged us that if we wouldn't read the many Bibles in our homes to please give them Him because his people were starving for God's Word and it wasn't available to them. His people were desperate to read God's Word and obey it, while our Bibles collected dust on the shelves. Repentance hit the room and hearts like I've never encountered before. And then, God's presence filled the room like I've never encountered before or after! Mantofa called the worship team up and as we played, God's presence was so heavy in the room I could hardly stand up. I was half bent over my keyboard attempting to keep the music going.  Mantofa kept praying and speaking over the room and at one point he walked over to me, took the mic away from his mouth and gently whispered in my ear...

"How dare you think SHE won't have a Father!"

Mantofa had no possibility of knowing what I was wrestling with...I had shared it with no one! 

I dropped to my knees and repented of my small view of the ability of Father God. Whoever this child, this one was...apparently a girl, God would be her Father and she would never be without the Father's love.  My view of Him became larger that night. 

My journey to become a foster care parent began that week as I started to research and attend meetings and trainings. I shared with my family what God was asking me to do and though they supported me, they were anxious that I was going to get my heart broken if this didn't turn out the way I thought. 

11 months later from that April in 2011, I received a phone call that DHS in Monroe had a 3 month old baby girl they needed to place in a home. I told them I needed an hour to pray and I would call them back. When I hung up the phone, I already knew that this was the placement I should take. The next day this baby girl was brought to my door:

And I was smitten. 

And she had the same birthday as me!

And she had red hair...When I was little, I lived through the Cabbage Patch Doll frenzy of the early 1980's. My mom wanted to get dolls for my sisters and I. So for Christmas, I prayed that mom would find a red headed Cabbage Patch doll for me. My mom wasn't able to find one but got her hands on a blonde doll instead...Glory was her name. That night in bed as I held Glory, I was feeling a little disappointed that she didn't have red hair and so I prayed, "God, I know it's impossible because I have brown hair but can you give me a red-head doll baby when I get big like my mom?"  Fast forward to this momentous day when Mckaylee Joy showed up at my house with bright, red hair! I remembered that prayer as soon as I saw her! 

God had been orchestrating this relationship my entire life. He heard my "frivolous" prayer as a 4 year old. He conceived in my heart in April of 2010 to begin to love this baby as she was growing in the womb of her birth mother.

A few years later, I was at Green Lake with Mckaylee and a friend of ours was taking pictures of her. She took this picture and when I saw it I gasped. It matched perfectly the silhouette I had seen as I prayed in April of 2010...a little girl in pigtails. 

  As Pastor John posted that picture of Heidi Baker on Sunday, it all came flooding back to me. God is so faithful and He is the orchestrater of my family. He truly is the Father to the fatherless AND He sent her an incredible earthly father as well, my husband Michael. He has a purpose and a plan for Mckaylee, and Ellie & Evelyn that is beyond anything we can imagine...it only starts with one. 

Remember the faithfulness of God.